Please Help Me With Some Research


I have a wonderful Dad. In fact, my family has a long history or wonderful dads that cared for their children. But my dad is great. He has taught me many things, and he continues to do so. My faith in Christ was formed through the teaching and example of my dad and mom. I love spending time with him when I get to see him. His dry wit is hilarious, and his love for my mother is an example to all. They have been happily married for over 35 years. My dad loves me very much, and I am sure of that.

I want to be a good father like that, but to be honest, I struggle with how to be the kind of dad that God calls me to be. I want to be there for my children and invested into them. I want to teach them many things about life, but more importantly I want to teach them by words and example about God and His love for us.

Being a good dad in the world today is a trend that is quickly losing ground. I look all around to see countless children growing up with someone who is not their biological father, or worse, without a father at all. Those same kids are leading the way in social dysfunction because of the needs that they crave that only a father can give them.

When I look at the teens that I work with from all walks of life, I see that so many are growing up without their basic need of a father’s love. Dr. James Dobson once stated that the father is the number one influencer of how a child will turn out as an adult in matters of morality and social interaction even sexuality.

So, the question for you today is, how is/was your biological father?

I would really appreciate it if you would help me out with some research I’m doing. It seems to me that as I look at all the hurts that teenagers deal with, their father’s presence or lack thereof has been a major influence in either how they deal with those struggles or even whether or not they have those struggles. I see books all the time working on how to help teenagers overcome the individual struggles, but it has been my experience that dealing with the struggles is only putting a bandaid on a wound that needs something much more drastic.

Most of the crises that teens deal with today can find their root in their relationship with their father (again, or lack thereof).

That’s my theory at least. So, what I want to do is research out how true that really is. This is where you come in. If you don’t mind, I would like it abundantly if you would answer some questions about your relationship with your dad. All of your information will be held to the utmost confidentiality. I hope to eventually write a book on how to help teens overcome the deficiencies brought on from a lack of relationship with their father.

So here’s the questions I am hoping to have answered:

1. What was your relationship with your biological father like?

2. How do you think that relationship shaped/is shaping who you are today?

3. What do you wish you could change about your relationship with your biological father?

4. If you didn’t ever know or had an estranged relationship with your biological father, has there been any other factors that led to health in your growth as an adult?

5. If you did know your father, what were some things that were positive about your relationship with him that affected you?

Again, it will be great to have your input here. All information given will be strictly confidential. There are a couple of different ways you can get me this information. First, you can email me at jddobbs@Verizon,net. Please put at the subject “Father research”. Second, you can send me a message via Facebook at Or you can call me at the office at 979-245-1611.

As I’ve searched for this kind of book I have been unable to find even one that presents any help to youth workers as to how to help teens overcome these struggles. Maybe I have it wrong, but I don’t think so.

Thank you for your help wi this, and may God bless you this day and in the days to come. As always, He is our Father, and He will never leave us or forsake us.


About Johnathan Dobbs

I'm a Christian first. I'm a husband and father second. Then I am an avid outdoorsman (hiking, camping, climbing, canoeing, fishing, etc...). Right now, I have a passion for climbing and card tricks. I am the minister for the Aztec church of Christ in Aztec, NM. I look forward to meeting new people and hearing from all. View all posts by Johnathan Dobbs

One response to “Please Help Me With Some Research

  • Charlotte Archer

    1. My father lived in the same home with my mother, brother and I all through my childhood except a few months my junior year of high school while he and mother had filed for divorce. He was there for all the major events of my life. I still feel some resentment for his lack of concern for my allergy to cigarette smoke and his expenditures for cigarettes & alcohol while I had to wait for some needs and do without others. Other than that he was loving and
    nurturing. Dad’s family as he grew up was totally dysfunctional. The details if that were mercifully kept from me until after Dad’s death. Knowing what I know now of his childhood and young adult life, I think he was amazing.
    2. Dad’s faithfulness as a husband and support as a father are as much as anything what have kept me adamant that the vows I made to my husband were not to be broken. Unfortunately I have a tendency to judge my husband’s choices with regard to participating in our son’s sports, school & church activities. Dad & Mom, however, never attended worship regularly once I started school.
    3. I wish our family had participated in worshipping God together. However, I think Dad took time to spend time with me and to show me he valued my accomplishments better than many Christian fathers have.
    4. Doesn’t apply.
    5. He spent time with me and my brothers. He coached my brothers little league baseball teams. He attended everyone of my basketball games possible. He rejoiced with me in my academic, leadership & sports accomplishments. He was always chaste and sexually appropriate with me. He set a good example in community involvement and leadership. If anything, he set the example of sacrificial service to the community.


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