For nearly two thousand years, the church has struggled with the hierarchy of leadership. Bishops, priests, deacons, elders, pastors, preachers, cardinals (birds?), etc. We have worship leaders and prayer leaders and ministry leaders and youth leaders. Now there are arguments as to whether women can be leaders in these and other roles. I think we argue about leadership roles because we have forgotten what true leadership looks like.
Husbands, you are the head of your household, physically and spiritually. The scriptures say so. So you get to have your way, right?
If your marriage is struggling, may I suggest it is because you have held a more worldly view of your headship in the home than a biblical view.
The world says the head is in charge. That’s where the brains are. That’s where the mouthpiece is, and the rest of the body sustains the head. In families, men act like kings and unintentionally trample those they claim to love by their exercise of authority.
Jesus is the head of the church. How does he lead? He sacrificed himself and daily intercedes for us.
When you read of a husband’s leadership in Ephesians 5, you read terms like these:
- Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ
- Gave himself up for her
- Sanctify her
- Love her as your own body
- Nourish and cherish her
- Love her
Where’s the authoritarian attitude in this passage? It is non-existent. A godly husband is a voluntary servant for his family – loving them by sacrificing himself for them daily.
Does this look like your experience as husband? What woman wouldn’t want a husband like this?
In the church we encourage the men to take leadership roles, but those don’t look much different. A leader is a servant. He is not someone who is exercising his authority to get his way. He is sacrificing time and effort and even finances for the good of the church, the bride of Christ.
Oh, and he’s not doing it for the praise of others. If that were the case, he would receive no reward from the Father.
If the church functioned with the servant-mind of Christ, there wouldn’t be so many arguments about who can do what. We wouldn’t consider someone of higher prestige because of their particular title. We would encourage all to serve and be grateful for their service.
If husbands functioned with the servant-mind of Christ, there wouldn’t be divorce. If you were serving, cherishing, loving, praying for, and nourishing your wife, she would be with you forever. If wives functioned with the servant-mind of Christ, there wouldn’t be so much resentment against husbands.
Face it. No one deserves to be served by you. No one deserves your love and gifts of time and effort. But you don’t deserve that from Christ either, and he gladly, willingly, gave everything for you. So do likewise.
“Do you understand what I have done for you? You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you.” -Jesus (John 13:12-15)
Lead by serving like Jesus, and watch the people around you blossom.